Storied Jokes 2

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.

On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says, “Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each”.

So the eager senior manager shouted, “I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas a fast boat and have no worries”. Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails”. Pfufffff, and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, “I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch”.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always allow the boss to speak first

Three Fools

There was a big hole in street. It was the cause of many accident and many injuries. One day, three fools were talking about solving this problem. The first one said, “it’s better to rest an ambulance near the hole, so when somebody is injured, he could be carried to a hospital by that ambulance.” The second one said, “I suggest building a hospital near it to help injured people.” The third fool said, “These are costly suggestions. It’s better to fill this hole and dig another in front of a big hospital.

Three Turtles

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, “oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.” Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go.”

Verbosity

A husband read an article for his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men… The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

Storied Jokes 1

Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, “And how would you do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”

The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”

The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”

The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”

The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.”

“We’re new here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.”

The first bat replies, “Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere.” He flies out of the cave.

When he returns, he is covered with blood.

The second bat says excitedly, “Where did you get the blood?”

The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, “See that black building over there?”

“Yes,” the other bat answers.

“Well,” says the first bat, “I didn’t.”

God is watching

In the cafeteria of a Catholic school, the children were lined up for lunch. At the head of the line was a large pile of apples. The nun wrote a note and put it in front of the apples.

The note read: “Take only one, God is watching.”

Further down the cafeteria line was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies...

One of the boys had written a note of his own. The note he placed in front of the cookies read: “Take all you want, God is watching the apples.”

Conversational Jokes 3

Q: Why did God create the man before he created the woman?

A1: The answer that men give: To give him the chance to enjoy Heaven on Earth for a few moments.

A2: The answer that women give: Everyone makes a draft first!

Man said to God, “Why did you make women so beautiful?”

God said to man, “So that you will love them.”

Man said to God, “But why did you make them so dumb?”

God said to man, “So that they will love you.”

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”

The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”

The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”

The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”

Conversational Jokes 2