In the Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful Welcome to your own weblog. I hope you'll enjoy it. The weblog posts may be freely reproduced on condition that the acknowledgement is made to the Digital English Weblog. Special Thanks to Farzad Shahabi Managed by Behnam Akbari
English is a difficult language ...... for
some!
This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits
Washington and meets president Barack Obama...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how are you'.
Then Mr. Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we translators, will do
the work for you.
It looks quite simple, but the truth is…
When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said 'who are you?' (Instead of 'How are you?'.)
Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-
ha…'
Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha…'
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$ In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding the need$ of u$. We are worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company ...... I am $ure you will gue$$ what I meant and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely, Hu$am
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear Husam, I kNow you have been working very hard. Now a days, Nothing much has changed. You must have Noticed that our company is Not doing Noticably well. Now the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNomists are Not sure if the United States may go into aNother recession. After the November presidential elections things may turn bad. I have Nothing more to add Now. You kNow what I mean.
A junior
manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.
On their
way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub
the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost
says, “Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow
one wish each”.
So the
eager senior manager shouted, “I want the first wish. I want to be in the
Bahamas a fast boat and have no worries”. Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the
junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, “I want to be in Florida with
beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails”. Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The boss
calmly said, “I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch”.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always allow the boss to speak first
Three
Fools
There was a
big hole in street. It was the cause of many accident and many injuries. One
day, three fools were talking about solving this problem. The first one said,
“it’s better to rest an ambulance near the hole, so when somebody is injured, he
could be carried to a hospital by that ambulance.” The second one said, “I
suggest building a hospital near it to help injured people.” The third fool
said, “These are costly suggestions. It’s better to fill this hole and dig
another in front of a big hospital.
Three
Turtles
Once there
were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there,
they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go
home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week
went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, “oh, come on,
let’s eat the sandwiches.” Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a
rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go.”
Verbosity
A husband
read an article for his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a
man’s 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men… The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”
The woman
says, “I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man
replies, “And how would you do that?”
The woman
says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss
comes in and says, “What are you doing?”
The woman
replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss
then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need
to take the day off.”
The man
starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man
says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”
Two vampire
bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly
out of the cave and get some blood.”
“We’re new
here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look.
We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.”
The first
bat replies, “Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere.” He flies out of
the cave.
When he
returns, he is covered with blood.
The second
bat says excitedly, “Where did you get the blood?”
The first
bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks,
“See that black building over there?”
“Yes,” the
other bat answers.
“Well,”
says the first bat, “I didn’t.”
God is
watching
In the
cafeteria of a Catholic school, the children were lined up for lunch. At the
head of the line was a large pile of apples. The nun wrote a note and put it in
front of the apples.
The note
read: “Take only one, God is watching.”
Further
down the cafeteria line was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies...
One of the
boys had written a note of his own. The note he placed in front of the cookies
read: “Take all you want, God is watching the apples.”
.png){kind=small}
Grammar
Vocabulary
Pronunciation
Proverbs, Idioms, Informal Expressions
Word Choice
Punctuation Marks
Picture Vocabulary
Articles
Stories
Jokes
Other
Download Center
Java Script & Web Tools
